I am often asked my opinion on things that involve football. The questions range from how to find which player position best suits a child to who I think will win the Super Bowl, and pretty much everything in between. I have many thoughts on the game, on coaching, and on improving performance, so I am starting Passing Thoughts to share some of those thoughts. I welcome your comments and conversation. –KR

Monday, July 3, 2017

Lessons from Losing

This column appeared in the Argus Leader on May 3, 2017.

This week, I find myself in a position I don’t enjoy: My team came up on the losing end of a big game. It’s a reality of sports.

Every time we take the field, there will be a winner and a loser. I’ve been fortunate to enjoy great success with the teams I’ve coached, but losing is part of the deal. And when it happens, it reminds me that nobody is perfect, losing is part of the game, and it’s my job as a coach to turn the negatives into something we learn from and improve upon. Right now, I’m still frustrated by watching my team not play to its ability, and I’m going to let that frustration settle for a bit. It’s not a bad thing to be reminded that we have work to do and we need to develop in order to succeed.

Losing is hard. One of the hardest things to confront as a coach and to teach to athletes is how to go about losing gracefully. We get consumed with frustration, disappointment and anger at the things we think went wrong. We question our decisions and performance, we think through all our mistakes, we consider perceived inequities, and in short, we look for the reasons why we lost so we can find immediate solutions.

It is extremely important at these moments to reflect on your own actions and how the team worked together. Did we make mistakes? Did we play well? What can we do to eliminate errors and better our play? It is pointless to dwell on things you cannot control, so I try to use these moments to focus on elements of my team’s game and performance. We can work to improve, and we can always find ways to raise our game. A loss is a difficult, but good reminder that there is always work to be done.

While there are significant differences between youth athletes all the way up to the pros in learning lessons from a loss, one critical message that coaches must send at every level is that there will be no excuses and no finger pointing. Blaming anybody but yourself for the loss is not fair, and it’s not productive. I”m not saying to be unduly hard on yourself and dwell on what went wrong, but I am saying the only way you use a loss to get better is to consider what didn’t work and to find a way to change it. The only thing you can control and alter is your own performance, so that is where teams need to focus their energy.

The way you deal with losing when you coach kids is remarkably important. Young athletes are so open with their emotions when it comes to their sport. The joy when things go well is unparalleled, and the sadness when things don’t is devastating. I often see coaches and parents of those young players who would literally do anything to win, and I attribute that to them wanting to spare their athletes the heartbreak that comes with losing. We all want success, but we build character and grace in our kids when we thoughtfully and intentionally lead them through their heartbreak. Kids need to internalize the basic tenets of sportsmanship, and it’s a great reminder for parents and coaches to model those critical lessons: Work hard, do your best, be gracious in victory or defeat and never give up.

At any level of play, leading a team through a loss is a tough challenge for coaches. We have to wrestle with our own emotions about the loss and still figure out how to get the team into a position to play better and eliminate mistakes. I have to think carefully about my athletes and find the right words and actions to motivate them to overcome this adversity. And at the professional level, I want them to feel the ugly emotions that come with losing, but to also understand that losing a game truly isn’t the end of the world. We will work together to improve, and we will hopefully find a way to achieve success.

Regardless of age and experience, every team has to be prepared for the fact that losses will come. That is part of the deal every time teams take the field in competition. There will be a winner and a loser, and the best teams will find a way to overcome challenges to win. As difficult as losing may be, it offers important lessons and motivation for athletes.

John Wooden said, “Losing is only temporary and not all encompassing. You must simply study it, learn from it and try hard not to lose the same way again. Then you must have the self control to forget about it.”

So while I don’t enjoy being in this place with my own team, I’m committed to learning from the last game and vigorously preparing for the next game. It’s time to get started. I’ve been reminded that we have work to do.

Leading Through Loss

This column appeared in the Argus Leader on Dec. 19, 2016

One of the most difficult challenges that coaches face is guiding a team or a program through losses. I was reminded of that this season watching down-to-the-wire finishes in college football and the NFL. Some of those tightly contested games were the end of the road in the playoffs, and others were longtime rivalries. In every game, however, both teams left every ounce of effort on the field. It is safe to say that no matter the level of play, athletes, coaches and fans all aspire to walk off the field on the winning side.

It is an extremely tough but necessary part of any sport that coaches learn to demonstrate great leadership during adverse circumstances. Obviously, you prepare your team to go in and win, and while losing is never enjoyable, it can particularly sting when it is the last game of a career or there is a fierce rivalry. It is especially difficult to convince athletes and fans that an otherwise extremely successful season has been worthwhile when you end the season with a playoff loss. Your team could reach every performance benchmark and have outstanding results, but getting knocked out of the playoffs makes everyone feel the season was a failure. Leadership during these times is a true test for coaches, and it can make or break the future of a program.

As the coach, you must work to bring your team together during these situations. You have to be willing to look everyone in the eye and explain that losing is tough and feels like the worst thing you could ever experience. No one wants to let all the hard work come to an end without that final victory, but a coach needs to help the team realize how many things have been accomplished during the season. It is easy to forget how far a team has come and how many milestones have been reached, so as the leader of those athletes, it is extremely important to help your team see their many achievements.

The lesson of learning to overcome difficult losses is not an easy one. Most athletes are ultra competitive and extremely loyal to their teammates and program, and that makes losing a bitter pill to swallow. When I was a junior in college, we played a tightly contested game in the national quarterfinals. I did not play well, and our team lost a game that we most likely should have won. Seeing the seniors walk off the field for the last time was one of the most difficult things that I had to do as an athlete. That visual really tore at me and was a huge motivating factor going into my senior year. Those same seniors were hurt and disappointed with the loss, but they were quick to approach me and the other returning players and tell us to remember that feeling and come back next year with the motivation to win the national title. I was amazed that they could set aside their disappointment and still have the leadership qualities to guide us moving forward. That situation taught me invaluable lessons about team dynamics and leadership, and it informs my view as a coach to this day.

When working with a team or athletes who experience that difficult loss, try to focus on the things they have gained from the season. Many will have developed a work ethic that will help them throughout their life, or they may have learned values that will help them become better citizens and family members. In every team situation, those athletes forge lifelong friendships, and as it was it my situation, perhaps the stinging loss will provide them the motivation to continue to work harder and hopefully get another chance at victory.

It is good to remember that everyone is working hard all season long to raise that trophy, but very few people actually get the opportunity to experience that feeling. A coach who can lead the team through the emotional challenges of a tough loss and instill motivation and a desire to improve in order to take that challenge again is extremely important to the success of a program. Find the positives in performances and the season, and turn those into fuel for the next run. True leaders will aspire to improve and go for it again, and they will inspire those around them to do the same.

Coach Kurtiss Riggs is the owner of Riggs Premier Football and director of the Sanford Power Riggs Premier Football Academy, which provides football training, camps and clinics for area athletes.