The Power of Sportsmanship

**This column also appeared in the Argus Leader on May 19, 2014.

Legendary Notre Dame coach Knute Rockne once said, "One man practicing sportsmanship is far better than a hundred teaching it."

Photo-Elisha Page Argus Leader

One of the challenges we face as coaches and parents of young athletes is finding the best way to teach sportsmanship. The games offer many opportunities to learn life lessons and become better people. However, those lessons aren't always readily apparent to kids living in the hyper-competitive athletic world we've created for them.

We all need reminders that the final score and the win-loss record aren't why we play the game in the first place. Sometimes, those reminders come from unexpected places.

During the state basketball tournament this year, I could not help but notice a young man on the Roosevelt High bench. He was not one of the players, but you could tell that he was 100 percent committed to and invested in everything that the team was doing.

Scotty Briggs, a senior and Special Olympics athlete, was providing a powerful example of sportsmanship to his peers.

Every time the Rough Riders scored, he would celebrate as if they hit the game winning shot. Every time the players came over during a time-out looking dejected, he was there to cheer them up. He helped them realize what an amazing opportunity they had playing in the game.

There are three values of sportsmanship that I hope every child takes away from his or her involvement in youth athletics:

• Build self-confidence.

• Understand the value of teamwork.

• Deepen your love of the game.

Anything that communities and coaches can do to help promote those values for kids is a worthwhile effort.

The Sanford POWER Football Academy, for example, is committed to finding ways to teach not just football, but to practice the greater lessons of sportsmanship. As a result, we will be providing a special opportunity for athletes ages 8-18 in the Sioux Falls area this summer with an event we're calling "All Champs Camp."

All Champs was born out of a partnership with Special Olympics South Dakota. Football has not been a sanctioned SOSD sport, and there have not been opportunities for kids to learn football skills or play the game. Riggs Premier Football will be offering a Skills Clinic (June 8) and Flag Football Camp (July 20) as unified events, free of charge to all athletes.

Unified sports have been around for the past twenty years or so, and they build on the premise that the power of sport is most fully realized when you pair athletes with and without developmental disabilities to play the game together. Unified sports have the power to break down social barriers and reinforce the values of sportsmanship for everyone involved.

All Champs Camp will include SOSD athletes and Academy partners learning skills and playing football together. We think it will be one of our best events, and we hope for a great turnout. We sincerely hope this event is the only the beginning of the football story for SOSD athletes in Sioux Falls.

As a coach, one of the things I enjoy most about youth sports is that pure love of the game requires no translation. Bonds of friendship form quickly and deeply. Sports can transform lives. We see it every day as kids develop discipline and work ethic, turning everyday challenges into monumental triumphs.

I believe that providing All Champs Camp to young athletes in the area is a powerful way to demonstrate our belief at the Academy that football is for everyone.

When we accept that everyone brings something to the team, kids feel good about their contribution and they get to play a game they love with friends old and new. I think athletes and coaches alike will see firsthand the power of the game to change hearts and minds.

That is the power of sportsmanship, and that is what will define all these participants as "champions."

Make it a Winning Summer with Young Athletes

**This column also appeared in the Argus Leader on April 27, 2014.

Warm weather is finally here, and everyone seems ready to jump into summer activities. Many families will spend time at ball parks and practice fields cheering on their favorite young athletes over the coming months. I look forward to many rewarding interactions with parents who bring their kids to camps, clinics, and tournaments. But I dread the situations that will unfold around me where there is tremendous conflict between parents and athletes or coaches, and the parent is behaving badly. What should be an enjoyable experience for kids can turn into a nightmare for everyone, and make for a very long summer. If parents can keep these things in mind, summer sports can be a win-win experience.

Focus on success, not winning.
One of the things I really hate to see is kids who believe success is only defined by winning a championship. I watch these young athletes have great performances and great seasons, but they don't think those things mattered at all unless they win the big game. They become incredibly dejected if they lose, and that defeats the entire purpose of youth sports. Parents need to help kids set individual and team goals that focus on performance and enjoyment of the process, not just the final score. Did they try a new scheme? Play at a different position? Did everyone get a chance to make a play? Reality is that kids are going to play a lot of games, and they aren't going to win them all. That doesn’t have to be an awful experience if parents remember to reinforce their pride in the child's effort and performance. Watch them play, share their joy at learning and trying, and applaud their part in the process no matter who walks away with a trophy.

Make motivation fun.

Nothing is more difficult for motivated parents than for them to perceive their young athlete is losing focus and motivation. This is a common area of disagreement for athletes and their parents! For young athletes motivation should mean FUN. If athletes are not having a good time, then they lose interest in participation very quickly. Parents need to remember that kids are kids. They will not be performance driven like an adult, and they will be sporadically uninterested and unmotivated. Expect it, embrace it without conflict, and provide your athlete the opportunity and support to renew his energy for the game. If the sport becomes a topic where there is ongoing conflict with parents, you will do more damage by forcing the issue. Keep it fun for kids, and they will find the motivation to stay involved.

Talk about goals, not the score.

In a long summer of sports, I think parents should help kids set realistic but challenging goals to improve performance. This could be as simple as becoming a better dribbler, practicing a new play and executing it in the game, completing one more pass than the last game, shooting 100 free throws a week together, or displaying good sportsmanship. Help them select whatever small details they think can make them grow as an athlete and keep them interested in the sport. None of those goals should involve winning games. They should be focused on individual and team performance. It's an an entirely different and constructive conversation between parents and athletes when they are both focused on those personal goals and work together for the young athlete to reach them.

Find a healthy balance.

Balance is so important for kids. When our kids love sports, how often do we try to find a balance with things outside of sports? Without that balance, sometimes our kids become so invested in the sport that they lose sight of everything else. And we do the same as parents. Make sure your kids take the time to be outdoors, hang out with friends, and not focus exclusively on competition and their sport. So many families go from football to wrestling/basketball, and then baseball season, they never have a chance to enjoy down time at the lake and a break from the grind of youth sports. If at some point, the child starts to lose interest in the sport, then what is next? We need to help our kids find a sense of balance with their activities and unstructured time.

Embrace the process, mistakes and all.

One of the things I have learned from working with young athletes is that there is nobody harder on a child's performance than the child himself. Kids who make mistakes will replay them and beat themselves up on it forever. Parents often don't realize that they need to help their kids move past those moments. They will "coach" their kids and unintentionally reinforce the child's view that his mistake was huge and means he is a failure. As a parent, you need to be the great encourager. Trust that your coach will help the kids through mistakes and help them work to improve, but as a parent, you need to keep your athlete confident and feeling good about his effort and performance. Let the coach do his/her job, and let your kids make mistakes and learn from the process. Parents know that they love and support their athletes NO MATTER WHAT. Make sure you communicate that fact to your young athlete in ways that they can understand.

Summer should be a time for families to enjoy shared activities and grow together. By taking the focus off the scoreboard and putting it on our athletes and their small successes, hopefully parents and kids can enjoy the summer just a little bit more. Together.